How to improve communication skills?

 What is communication? How to improve communication skills? 

A process through which individuals mutually exchange their ideas, values, thoughts, feeling and action with one or more people is known as communication. It is the process of sharing information, ideas and attitudes between individual. It is the management of messages for the purpose of creating meaning.
    The process of communication is what allows us to interact with other people; without it, we would be unable to share knowledge or experiences with anything outside of ourselves. Common forms of communication include speaking, writing, gestures, touch and broadcasting. Wikipedia definition UGC - NET/Dr. V. Bastin Jerome/Paper I/Communication.
      Poor communication is the source of interpersonal conflict • Individuals spend 70% of their working hours communicating-reading, speaking, listening UGC - NET/Prof. V. Bastin Jerome/Paper I/Communication 7 

   Two-way process of reaching mutual understanding, in which participants not only exchange (encode-decode) information, news, ideas and feelings but also create and share meaning. • In general, communication is a means of connecting people or places. • In business, it is a key function of management--an organization cannot operate without communication between levels, departments and employees.

Why communication skill is necessary?

The quality of our life depends on the quality of our communication skills. If my communication skills are bad the quality of my life gets directly impacted because communication is everything. Right now I'm communicating with you if I do it in the wrong way the quality of my life right now could just go down. If my quality of communication is amazing I can attract a great life partner, I can impress people, I can do amazing work in my professional life, I can convince my boss, I can talk to my customers properly, I can have a great relationship with my colleagues, I can have a good relationship with my friends everything in life depends on communication skill. So, the quality of our life , quality of our relationships depends on the quality of our communication skills. The quality of communication skill is important very very important if you want a higher quality of life. 

Parts of communication skills:  Mindset and skill


Most people directly goes to skill parts. You're not supposed to do that. First part is mindset without the right mindset of communication skills It's not possible to have the right skill for communication. Mindset is how you think about communication and skill is about the techniques of communication skills. Everybody always asks how do I impress people that's the skills part, how do I talk in front of  people that's skill part, how do I talk in front of many people public speaking that's the skill part but if you don't have the right mindset for communication, skill will not work for you.  Communication is not what I say It is the response that I get, this is a belief  that you must have about mind set. what is mindset , Mindset is your beliefs about communication, communication is not what I say it is the response that I get. The mindset which is the negative mindset of communication is that communication is what I say what does that mean, If I said 'x' you heard of 'I' it's your problem I said 'x' now that's the belief.  Communication is not what you understand  communication is what I say that's the wrong mindset the right mindset. The right mindset for communication is communication is not what I say it is the response that i get. I f I said 'x' and you heard 'y' what did I say, communication is not what I say, It is the response that I get. If I say listen I want to give you a little feedback and the other person feels bad now if you felt bad about what I said I am responsible because my communication is iI made you feel bad. Now you may say but I didn't have the intention to make you feel bad. The intention doesn't matter, the mindset matters because what matters is the person who got the communication got the bad feeling. I have to first work with that mindset. Communication is not what i talk it is the response that i get. Try this experiment. Right hand on your heart and repeat say my boss is responsible for what he understands, 2 times. Now try this I am responsible for what I communicate to my boss and what he understands based on my communication, now where do you feel more in control part one or part two. 
Part 2 right, if you carry this mindset only and only then the skills will be useful to you. Why is this very critical, this is 80% of communication skills. 20% of communication skills is skills 80% of communication is actually mindset. For eg.    let us say I'm someone from the village and I don't have good english but I am having the right mindset that whatever i speak other people understand it. If you feel bad of some words then my 80% mindset says that he feels bad it means somewhere i was wrong now i change my fault  I change my tone , my strategy, my words something let me change so that the other person can hear 'x' instead of hearing 'y'. You see how powerful this is, If I work with right mindset of 80% I can make changes to my own words to my own tone to my own vocabulary to make sure that you get the right communication even if you don't have the  perfect communication skill. You have the ability to learn. By introspecting why did the other person hear, 'y'?  why he didn't hear 'x'  is my tone wrong,  is my word wrong,  add something new, my vocabulary what should i do to make sure person gets right. Communication is not what I say communication is the response that I get.

          Skill parts   

The first skill that you need to improve in communication is not talking it's listening. The biggest fights in any relationship is all about listening. After 20 years of marriage also a life partner says you don't listen to me. These type of conflict happens with life partner, friends, parents, boss, colleagues, relatives, subordinate. Why does that conflict happen? Conflict happens because listening is a particular  skill if you don't understand the listening skill properly and you don't upgrade your listening skills it will not work.

How do you practice the listening skill?  

There are steps to it. 
Step number 1 : Silence internally and externally: When others are talking if you're constantly saying yeah ,yeah I know yeah I understand what you are saying oh yes, yes I understand the more you are talking, talking, talking not listening your brain cannot listen by the time you are agreeing with the person and talking with the person we are in so much of a hurry to agree we are so so much in a hurry to say yes, yes, our brain is constantly talking and then what happens is we miss some words from the other person and because of which when we respond back to that person the person says i am not saying this I am saying other things. you missed the words because you were not silent but that silence has to be internally and externally both. You have to be completely silent. Just wait just let the other person complete okay once the other person then you can go to step 2 , otherwise step 2 will not work for you.
Practice this skill every day by being silent when people are talking. 

Step number 2 : Repeat: Repeat to the other person what they said. When you repeat to them they are words back to them they will confirm to you yes this what I am saying. If you don't repeat to them there is a chance that you may say something that they may not agree and when you are repeating here is the thumb rule. Repeat in their words not in your words. for example : If the other person says okay i want a workshop on team building and I say oh you need team work  workshop the person will say no no teamwork I need team building workshop. If you see both are similar word but other person think that you didn't listen team building workshop. If you want to convince the other person that you heard the other person correctly then the very important part is first silence listen to the words that they are saying ,repeat the same word back to them and say is this what you said, ask is this what you said and the person says yes, once you have a confirmation and the other person says yes i speak same then you know that you are a good listener. Listening skill is not about only just listening and saying it's first complete silence repeating their words back to them this is called as listening skills.

Step number 3: Talking: How do you do communication skills which are powerful which any person can connect to really really fast. Talk to create comfort not to impress. Comfort automatically gives a person impression. While talking you should be assure how much person is comfortable with me rather than making him impress. To make people comfortable you should take care of these things.

Match body language - If you match your body language with whom you are talking then he become comfortable reason behind this is in our brain their is a physical part called 'RAS' (reticular activities system).This part always scan and during scanning if my 'RAS'  find that the other person is like me then RAS says wow I like this person. If the RAS while scanning the person feels this person is not like me RAS will tell uncomfortable I don't like this person. How many of you met people sometimes in your life where instantly you felt comfort and sometimes you met people and feel un comfortable. This is because comfort comes from similarity and discomfort comes from differences. To create comfort, its not important to talk in a very impressive language that's not important, what is important is if you could simply match the other person's body language they will feel very comfortable with you. for example -  if you are wanting to make a child comfortable and you want that child to be convinced by you obviously you have to communicate properly to the child. So make comfortable to the child, how do you do that, go down to your knees communicate with  the body language of the child rather than standing up looking down to the child there is no  comfort in the child's experience so the child is going to be very discomfort, uncomfortable with you because of that discomfort the child is not listening to you not taking of your conversation. How many of you have this experience where your children don't listen to you sometimes why because they are uncomfortable with us. Now, how do you improve your communication there when you are talking to your children next time match their body language see what happens. Haven't you seen if you ever talk to the children the way they talk they find it very amusing like if you find very small children and if you talk to them totally in their language they get very comfortable they start smiling. Same thing with any culture, if you go to US and match their body language they will be very comfortable with you but if you are going to be very different that'll create discomfort for them.

Match tone and words - If the other person is speaking in english and you speak in hindi obviously there will be no comfort. So, match tone, words, and language. If the other person is speaking soft and I am very loud no comfort , if no comfort even if I am the best impressive speaker in the world if the other person doesn't find matching in my tone the other person will say why he/she  is shouting discomfort is that. Why you'll observe that there are some people who like you and some people who will not because in a large audience there will be a category of people whose tone and body language will match you but there will always be a category of people who will not connect with you that's reality. If I have 100 people in front of me right now I can't match my body language and my tone to 100 people but if it's a small group of people I can do it. Let's say there's a group of 10  people in front of me in a boardroom in the office if I  turn to my boss I can immediately match my body language with my boss , I can match my tone ,words, and language with my boss suddenly I turn towards my colleague or a lady or a gentleman who's from my team , let's say there's a lady and if she is speaking the moment I turn towards her I'll speak softly, I'll use if  she's comfortable in hindi I'll switch to hindi so, match tone,  body language, words and language. 

Agreement frame - Every body has a frame of mind. If somebody is in the wrong frame of mind and you talk to them will they listen to you. If somebody is in the negative frame of mind no matter how good I speak will I be able to communicate with them and convey my point ,no . So, what do I need to do. I need to get them into the right frame of mind. There is one technique which is the best technique in the world to get any person in the right frame of mind immediately. How do you put the people in the right frame of mind so that they listen to you. It is the most powerful way in the world, the simplest way in the world most people don't use it. It's called as I agree frame , it's sounds very simple but it's the most powerful frame in the world. For example; If a person in a group says I disagree with you communication doesn't work like that now most people would start by saying why do you say that ,why are you disagreeing with me now I got into the disagreement frame with the person the moment I said that to that person. If I want to get into the agreement frame all I have to do is say I agree. for example: if the person says I don't agree with you about what you're saying about communication then say okay I agree with you I'm sure you have a particular point of view can you tell me more about your point of view please now I switch into the listening mode silence and repetition so I'm going to start by saying you know I actually agree with you I'm sure there is a reason you're saying that can you tell me more about it. Suddenly the person goes into the agreement frame because they were expecting you to get into disagreement with you because they started with a disagreement frame and they were expecting you also to get into a disagreement frame. They started a fight they thought you will also fight. You always need two people to fight. If other person started with disagreement frame and if I got into the agreement frame with them they have nothing to fight. Every time you are out of the agreement frame the other person is not going to listen to you ,there's not going to be any communication there's going to be argument. If you are in the right frame of mind with that person you'll always be in the right page same page. Another example If your wife comes to you and say nowadays you don't listen to me then come to agreement frame I think you're right may be I'm not listening nowadays can you give me a couple of examples. If you started by saying I don't agree give me an example where I don't listen . Disagreement frame  person will give you example but in disagreement frame , two people can only argue they cannot communicate. 

Conclusion: Never try to talk to create impression talk to create comfort. how do you do that in three steps. Match your body language, Match your tone, words, and language and get into the agreement frame say yes I agree.  Remember skills part comes later first part comes  the mindset communication. You can use this in every area of your life. Quality of your life depends on the quality of your communication skills. If you keep trying to match with people's body language you will not have one particular personality only that's amazing you can have so many personalities within you that you can get along with all kind of personality in the world. If you have only one personality you don't have many option in life if you have multiple personalities within you which you are in control of . Sometimes if not done then take one of the things that they are already convinced by and then communicate your point using that point. 

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How do you communicate? How will you communicate information?


How do you communicate?

CommunicationThe act or process of using words, sounds, signs, or behaviors to express or exchange information or to express your ideas, thoughts, feelings, etc., to someone else. formal : a message that is given to someone : a letter, telephone call, etc. : the ways of sending information to people by using technology. When communication occurs, it typically happens in one of three ways: verbal, nonverbal and visual. People very often take communication for granted. Communicators constantly exchange information, meaning people always seem to be either receiving or giving information.

How do you communicate?

How do you communicate?

Evolution of Communication and Onset of Social Media

Without a doubt there have been vast technological improvements which have transformed how information is gathered and transmitted both on a micro and macro scale. Social media, whether Twitter, Facebook, Linked-In, Instagram, Pinterest... and the list goes on, has revolutionized the way we communicate.

In the public sector social media certainly places a pivotal role in the way messages are delivered however the message must be accurate, clear and consistent organization-wide.

We live in a 24/7/365 society. The faster the better right? If you read it on the internet it must be true. Any information is better than no information or is it? Get the message out as quickly as possible particularly during an emergency-timing is everything. How many times have you read an on-line article with grammatical or factual errors? The use of social media must be carefully planned and implemented strategically organization-wide for the purpose(s) for which it is intended otherwise it will be counterproductive, ineffective, potentially detrimental and in extreme cases can induce public doubt, fear and mistrust.

Ways to communicate : (how do you communicate?)

Most people think about speech when they think about communication but there are many other ways we can also use to communicate with each other.
  1. Facial expressions.
  2. Gestures.
  3. Pointing / Using hands.
  4. Writing.
  5. Drawing.
  6. Using equipment e.g. Text message or computer.
  7. Touch.
  8. Eye contact.

How can I learn to communicate better?

There are specific things to do that can improve your communication skills:
Get Your Point Across. 
Listen to What People Are Not Saying. 
Learn to Speak in Public to a Group. 
Get Your Boss to Agree.
Give Negative Feedback Properly.
Manage Older Workers Effectively.
Improve Your Written Communication Too.
Write Better Emails.

 Learn the basics of nonverbal communication.

One study found that nonverbal communication accounted for 55 percent of how an audience perceived a presenter. That means that the majority of what you say is communicated not through words, but through physical cues.

To communicate clearly and confidently, adopt proper posture. Avoid slouching, folding your arms or making yourself appear smaller than you are. Instead, fill up the space you are given, maintain eye contact and (if appropriate) move around the space.

You have to over-communicate just to communicate.

In 1990, a graduate student at  was able to prove that presenters overestimate how much listeners understand. In a study that become known as “the tappers and the listeners,” one set of participants was asked to tap the melody of 120 famous songs. The other participants were asked to guess what song was being tapped.

Tappers estimated that 50 percent of the songs tapped would be correctly identified. In reality, only 2.5 percent of songs were correctly identified. This study shows that it is important to communicate clearly, and to over-communicate when sharing new ideas. As this study indicates, it is likely that the audience will fail to absorb as much as you expect.

Try to Understand Other Point of View
Even when you do not agree with what the other person is saying, it is important to try to understand their point of view. It may be a tendency to think of “understanding” as “agreeing”, but these are two very different ideas. By understanding the other person’s point of view, you are simply moving toward resolution and effective communication. You cannot communicate your point of view without understanding where the other person is coming from. Imagine someone trying to communicate with you, when they do not understand your point of view.

Listen with empathy

Empathy is the ability to understand the feelings, thoughts, and beliefs of another person. Exactly this is the reason why organizations have started developing empathy in the workplace.

Emotional acceptance, closely related to empathy, means that, after empathizing and understanding how other person feels, we can accept the reasons why somebody feels or thinks the way they do, regardless of whether we agree with it or not. 

Try to see things from others’ perspectives by accepting what you hear instead of trying to „fix things and solve the problem“.

 Prepare what you're going to say

Think before you speak. Most of us work best when we have time to process our own thoughts before we share them.

If the conversation or meeting is worth your precious time, take a few minutes to prepare the speech draft. 

For a very important conversation, try a mock-up conversation with a trusted person so you can get rid of any potential mistakes.

Letters to Newspapers

Expressing good wishes

Start and end with key points.

Think back to the “tappers and listeners” study mentioned earlier. Clear communication is of paramount importance. To ensure that the audience understands the key takeaways from a presentation, reiterate key points at the start and finish. This can also be accomplished by providing attendees with a one-pager that includes key points the audience should consider throughout the presentation.

How do you communicate?

Be ready for different answers

As you formulate a speech strategy, put yourself in the position of a person who will listen to you.

This will ensure balanced approach and you will be prepared to learn and defend potential disagreements and it will be easier for you to defend your standpoint.

No one can predict with certainty how other people will react.

Improve chances of a successful conversation by expecting negative answers and queries. So it is harder for your listeners to catch you unprepared.

Admit Your Responsibility
We all make mistakes. Sometimes we even hurt those we care about most. Allow yourself to recognize and acknowledge the less than admirable things that you do. If you hurt someone, even if you did not mean to, accept this and apologize. Once you have accepted the responsibility, the real communication can begin. It is important to remember that hurting someone, or making mistakes, does not make you a “bad” person, nor can you always have someone immediately stop feeling hurt just because you apologized.

Communicating a Clear and Consistent Message

George Seldes, in a 1942 publication of his weekly newsletter, In Fact, Inc. entitled: The Facts Are... : A Guide to Falsehood and Propaganda in the Press and Radio wrote about the power and corruption of the press primarily due to its close association with special interests. He stated: "What is the most powerful force in America Today? Answer: public opinion. What makes public opinion? Answer: the main force is the press." Does this still hold true today?

I would argue public opinion is just as or more important today than it was in 1942. Whether it's "the press," another media outlet or an internet troll our society is continuously being bombarded with information, messaging and editorials. Therefore, it's imperative, particularly in the public sector, these information transmittals are clear, timely, accurate and provide a consistent message.

Be a listener

 Listen more than you talk.” This is what Richard Branson tells business people who want to connect with others. To communicate effectively, first listen to what others have to say. Then you can provide a thoughtful answer that shows you have taken those ideas into account.

 In our nonstop 24/7/365 lives we need to remain cognizant of what is going on around us, on the internet, on our phones but most importantly with each other. Time doesn't stop nor does it slow down therefore we must!


Communicating clearly is one of the most effective skills you can cultivate as a business leader. Remember to communicate using nonverbal and verbal cues. Listen carefully to what others have to say, and over-communicate in novel ways to ensure the content of the conversation sticks with the audience.

Expressing good wishes

What are the Best wishes expressed in season.
ans- It means we sometimes express best wishes according to season.

  • Happy birthday to you.
  • Happy Vijaya Dashami
  • Happy Dipawali
  • Happy new year
  • Happy new millennium
  • Merry Christmas etc.              

Expressing good wishes

Write various types of expressing good wishes.
ans- Good wishes expressed to second person.
         (1) We generally use following exponents to express wishes for the person who is with us.

  • Best of luck
  • Good luck 
  • I wish you luck
  • I'm sure that every thing will work out just fine.
  • I hope everything goes O.K. for you.
  • Let me wish happy married life.
  • Good for tune with you.
  • Have a good night etc.
  (2) Good wishes sent to third person 
            We generally use following exponents to send good wishes to the third person or the person who is not with us.
  • Please, give my kind regard to your brother.
  • Please, give my best wishes to Mina.
  • Give my love to your children
  • Say hello to Binay etc.


Write conversations for the following situations
.    1)  Dinesh meets his friend at theatre. He congratulates him because he has got a new baby.                     D: Hey, Hari , I heard your wife had a baby yesterday.
         H: That's right. A little boy.
         D:Well, I'd like to congratulate you. What's his  name?
        H: My mother named  him Kausal.

    2) You meet a friend at the dog store. while talking, she mentions that she has found a new job.
         B: Hey! Sarita. How is it going? long time no see.
         G: Oh! Hari. Not bad. I have just found a job in this store.
         B: Let me congratulate you on your new job.
         G: Thanks, Hari.
         B: See you later. Bye
         G: Bye.


When do you  congratulate people? Collects  its examples or exponents.
ans- Congratulating function is used when we want to tell somebody that we are happy about their good luck or success. We congratulate our friend if he passes the exam. In the same way, somebody can get congratulation if he gets son or daughter. There are many exponents or examples through which we can congratulate the people. These examples are as follows.

  • Congratulations.
  • Congratulation on your new daughter.
  • Let me say congratulation on winning the Madan prize.
  • Let me congratulate you on your new job.
  • I'd like to say congratulations etc.

Introducing in the following situations

 How would you introduce yourself and to other in the following situations?
ans:-1) You begin to talk with a woman at party.
       M: Hi, my name is Peshal Bastola. I saw you alone and I thought I might talked with you a
      W: Hey, Mr Peshal. I'm glad to meet you. My  name is Sunita Adhikari, Please call me Sunita.
      M: Ok, Sunita. Please call me Peshal. Are you friend  of  Hari?
      W: Of course, I;ve  known him  for two years.
       2)A businessman and businesswoman  are having lunch at a restaurant. She sees a colleague
            come in and  wants to introduce the man to her colleague.
            BW:-----yeah, roasted meat is tasty. Hey, that is Bikram Thapa. I think you know him, don't                               you?
             BM; No, I have never met him.
             BW: Well, then. Let's go over and i'll introduce you.
             BW: Bikram !How are you doing long time no see.
             B   :  Rita! What a surprise seeing you here?
             BW:  Bikram, this is Hari Sharan, my husband. Harisharan, he is Bikram, please call him                               Bikram.
             B :   OK, Harisharan, nice to meet you.
             BM: Nice to meet you, Bikram. Please, call me Harisharan


Collect exponents and responses of introducing.
ans:-We generally use following exponents to introduce people:
         Hi, my name is Ram.
         Hey, my name is Bastola.
         I'd like to introduce myself.I'm Peshal.
       The following are some responses of introducing:
         Nice to meet you. My name is Peshal Bastola.
         Pleased to meet you. I'm Dinesh Sharma.
       I'm glad to meet you.
        What do you do?etc



Taking leave

What are the ways of taking leave?
ans:-Taking leave is a language function which is often used when people want to separate each other.
         We often say" Take care" which is an example of taking leave/farewells.Some exampes of taking leave are as follows:
      See you again.
     See you later.
     Hope to see you again.
     Take it easy.
     Take care.
    Good bye. etc
    The following are some responses of farewells. In other words, when someone farewells us we generally use the  following exponents as response.
     Hope so .
    Sure thing.
    You, too.
    Good bye etc.



What is announcing?Write its exponents.
ans-We sometimes tell people something, officially, specially about a decision, plans etc.
This is called announcing. In announcing the speaker is supposed to tell something but he can't tell his own ideas. Following are exponents.
                     Please, give me your attention.
                     Attention please.
                     Can i have your attention, please.
                    Here is an announcement from the secretary of home ministry.
                     I would like to make an announcement etc.

Addressing in situaations

How would you address in the following situations?
ans-(1) You are addressing in a public speaking.
           Mr. Chairman,
           Ladies and gentleman
           First of all, I would like to thank-------
       (2) You would like to address your beloved.
              Hari: My darling Sonia, My precious.I love you
              Sonia:My dear, Hari I love you too.


 What are the ways of addressing?
ans- The following are the ways or examples of addressing;
         Mrs. Thapa!
         My dear.
         Dear Mr Hari.
        My dear Sunita.
        Your excellency.
        You guys.
        Lades and gentleman!
        honourable chief guest!etc


 What are the ways of welcoming?
ans-We generally welcome people in the following ways:
           Welcome to Nepal
           Welcome back to class
           let me welcome you to our village
           I would like to welcome you to our beautiful city etc.
When  someone welcomes us we generally respond in the following ways:
          Thank you, Mr. giri
          Thank you very much
          Thanks .We are glad to be----etc

Greeting in situation

How wold you greet in following situation?
ans-  (1) You  unexpectedly meet a friend in the drug store. You haven't seen each other  for at a couple of months.
    A:Hey,'s it going?
    B:Oh, Dinesh. Ok. How's re you doing?long time no see.
    A:Yeah, I haven't met you since I lleft Biratnagar. I'm now engage in this store.
    B: So am I.
    A: I hope we will get together on saturday. Take it easy.
    B:You, too.
    (2) A student meets his/her professor on the way to the  library one afternoon.
      S:Good afternoon, sir. How are you?
      T:Good afternoon, I'm fine. How are you?
      S:Uhmm----, it is well , sir.
      T:See you later. Bye.
      S:Bye sir.


What is greeting?Collect its  exponents or examples.
ans:-Greeting is a very common socializing function.When we greet somebody we welcome him saying 'Hello' 'Hey','Hi', 'How are you?' 'Good morning' etc.Greeting is first utterance of people when they start to talk.The selection of exponents to greet people may differ according to the linguistic competence,degree of formality and time.For e.g."good morning'is used for the morning,'Good afternoon' after mid day and "Good night"is used for bed time.The exponents used to express greeting are as follows:

  • Hi, Ram. How's it going?
  • Hey, Hari. How are you doing?
  • Hello, Sita.How are things with you?
  • Good morning,Mr.Karan.
  • Good afternoon.
  • Good night.
  • Hello,Gita. How are  you?etc    
            When someone greets us we generally respond in the following ways:
  • Ok. How about you?
  • Fine thanks.And how are you doing?
  • So So.And how are you?
  • Not bad and you?
  • I'm fine thank you etc.                        

socializing function in english

what is socializing function?List all socializing functions.
ans:-Socializing function is communicative function which is used to meet and spend time with people in a friendly way. It helps us to behave in ways that are acceptable to our society.The list of some important  socializing functions are:-

  1.  Greeting
  2.  Welcoming 
  3. Announcing
  4. Taking leave
  5. Congratulating
  6. Expressing good wishes
  7. Thanking
  8. Attracting attention
  9. Asking to repeat
  10. Apologizing
  11. Expressing excuses
  12. Expressing complements
  13. Expressing condolence/ sympathy
  14. Extending an invitation 
  15. Proposing a toast
  16. Using conversation/discourse fillers