Here the meaning of ego is not same as in term of psychoanalysis. By ego I mean self-centeredness, the sense of false pride or arrogance. One should certainly have self respect or self esteem but this false sense of pride even at a subtle level can increase expectations leading to tension. Brahma Kumari Janki Dadi, the Joint Chief of Brahma Kumaris World Spiritual University who produced the most coherent brain waves not only in meditation but even in various states of consciousness was asked to explain the secret of her unusual stability of mind. She explained : When I learnt meditation, very soon I was able to overcome the gross form of ego. I experienced that I am a soul completely different than the physical body. subsequently, as I started teaching meditation to others a subtle ego developed in me that I am a Raja Yoga teacher. This subtle form of ego also disturbed me. I started having several subtle expectations from others. I realized I must overcome this subtle ego. With some spiritual efforts I was able to completely overcome this ego and since then my mind remains in the state of perfect tranquility. Nothing disturbs me' .
If you do introspection you will find that all of us have the gross ego to some extent and if we overcome this gross ego we certainly have the subtle ego which brings ups and downs in our mental life. Like Janki Dadi all of us should make efforts of breaking the subtle ego.
Here are some ways to overcome ego:
Avoid regret and pride
Do not feel sorry for anything you discover about yourself. If you feel sorry for your deficiencies, it also means you will feel proud of your good qualities. Both ways it just reinforces ego. Be grateful for what life or God gives you and aspire to be better.
Take the other's point of view
Recognize that the opposite point of view is also true. Every point of view has a truth in it. Learn to recognize the truth in the viewpoint of others. Learn to take their point of view and fully appreciate it. Truth is never a question of right versus wrong. Truth reconciles opposing views at a higher level - not by compromising but by seeing the greater truth of which opposing viewpoints are both parts. When you take a genuine effort to recognize the truth in another's point of view, you come out of ego and stop defending or asserting your own ego's position. In most cases, the other person immediately becomes much more open minded and reasonable. For more on this see Taking other's point of view.
Focus on the effort — not the outcome. With any creative endeavor at some point what we made leaves our hands. We need to remember famous coach John Wooden’s advice: “Success is peace of mind, which is a direct result of self satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to do your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming.” Doing your best is what matters. Focus on that. External rewards are just extra.
Don’t be deceived by recognition, money and success — stay sober. Success, money and power can intoxicate. What is required in those moments is sobriety and a refusal to indulge. One look at Angela Merkel, one of the most powerful women on the planet is revealing. She is plain and modest — one writer said that unpretentiousness is Merkel’s main weapon — unlike most world leaders intoxicated with position. Leave self-absorption and obsessing over one’s image for the egotists.
Accept all your mistakes:A great way to work on all your ego problems is by accepting your mistakes. Do know that everyone at certain times goes wrong and it is very natural to commit a mistake. But being stubborn and selfish about it is not a good thing.
It does not matter if you are a parent or a teacher or the boss, you should be humble enough to admit where you have gone wrong. Go and apologize to the person. It will feel light and stop your false ego from controlling your life.
Be thankful for the little things you have:
Imagine that your university results are out and you’ve topped the class. Obviously, you will be credited greatly for studying and working hard etc. But also remember that there is someone else who is equally as hard-working as you are but is not standing in your position.
If you begin to think of things in this way, chances are you will have better control ego and balance your emotions at the same time.
So be thankful for all the things that you have in life even if its something very simple. Once you begin to become a humble person, you will also give more way for your ego to melt.
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