I want to say just love all.
If you’ve ever driven during rush-hour traffic or waded through a crowded store, you know all too well that rude people are everywhere. Whether it’s an insulting comment or a dismissive attitude, rudeness is pervasive. All too often, this negativity rubs off on us.
You can’t control someone else’s behavior but you don't want to be provoked by someone’s ill-mannered attitude. So what do you do?
When confronted with toxic behavior, whether it’s coming from a crotchety stranger, a grouchy coworker or a snappish friend, here are some tried and true methods that smart people use to effectively handle rude people.
Don’t take it personally (even if it’s personal).
React to rudeness with kindness.
Don’t let a rude person cause you to respond with more of the same. One of the best ways to defuse rude and negative behavior is to stay friendly and positive. This gives the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behavior to match yours. Kindness can be a wonderful antidote to rudeness.
Showing kindness to someone who is being surly or insulting to others can be extremely difficult.
Be objective and analyze the rudeness.
So somebody was rude to you. What did they do or say? Was there any sense in it? If you view the situation objectively, you’ll realize that most rudeness is senseless, so you can cheerfully ignore it. On the rare occasions when there’s logic behind the rude behavior, staying objective lets you address the root of the problem instead of the rudeness concealing it.
Call the person out on his or her behavior.
Another tactic to stop the spiral of rudeness is to simply call them out on their behavior and ask them to stop. If someone you can't get away from is consistently rude to you, you need to address the issue directly. There is no need for you to take ongoing abuse from anyone. You should never allow anyone to treat you in a disrespectful way.
Have a conversation about what is going on. Does the person realize how hurtful his or her actions are to you? Perhaps the person doesn’t realize how rude he or she is being. By making the person aware, it gives him or her a chance to apologize and try to be more polite.
Consider offering help.
Some rudeness is a simple case of bad manners. But often, a person who’s rude to you does so because they feel frustrated about something—and if it’s within your power to resolve their frustration, you may see them switch from rudeness to gratitude in seconds. A word of warning, though: only offer help if you can provide it immediately, as an offer of help “later on” can add to their feelings of frustration.
Don’t try to force a change.
You can’t make someone be polite if they want to be rude. In fact, trying to force a change in their behavior will often make them behave worse instead of better. Sometimes your best option is to accept that their rudeness is not your fault and let them find their own solutions.
Be a good role model.
People have all kinds of ulterior motives for acting as they do. Recognize that some people use rude behavior as a way of showing dominance or displaying power. They may be trying to provoke a reaction and make you look bad. Don’t let them have the satisfaction of seeing you get angry.
Avoid the rude person.
When all else fails, keep in mind that sometimes it's best to just walk away. If you have done all you can to make the person aware of his or her actions and you have tried to show kindness and empathy, it may be that this person is just incapable of treating you (and others) with politeness and good manners.
By avoiding habitually rude people, you take away their audience and give them fewer targets to lash out at. A lack of an audience will also defuse the situation. If everyone around them begins giving them a wide berth, perhaps it will be a wake-up call. And if not, it will at least help everyone else have a better day.
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